10 Minutes ago in Oklahoma, Garth Brooks was confirmed as...See more

In a move that shocked both the sports and country music worlds, Garth Brooks was announced as the new majority owner of the ECHL’s Tulsa Oilers during a raucous press conference at the BOK Center. The country superstar, wearing a customized Oilers jersey with “The Thunder Rolls” as his nameplate, grabbed a hockey stick and declared: “Y’all thought I retired from touring? Now I’m bringing the same energy to the boards—this ain’t my first rodeo, but it’s my first hat trick!”

The acquisition makes Brooks Oklahoma’s first celebrity sports team owner, with plans to completely rebrand the minor league franchise. Insiders reveal his vision includes:
“Garth Night” games featuring live post-game concerts on the ice
A new team mascot named “Billy the Puck” (a hockey-playing armadillo)
Jerseys with lyrics from “Friends in Low Places” hidden in the stitching

The hockey community erupted with reactions. NHL commissioner Gary Bettman welcomed Brooks to the “hockey family,” while fellow owner (and country star) Carrie Underwood tweeted: “Guess I’ll have to buy the Predators now to keep up.” Oilers players were reportedly stunned when Brooks showed up to their morning skate and flawlessly executed a slapshot—”Turns out all those years of guitar playing gave him killer wrist strength,” said team captain Adam Pleskach.

Brooks’ first official act? Renaming the arena’s penalty box “The Low Places Lounge” and stocking it with his own brand of whiskey. “We may not win the Cup,” he told reporters while signing autographs on hockey pucks, “but we’ll be the only team where the Zamboni driver doubles as a backup singer.” The rebranded Oilers hit the ice this October—with Brooks promising to lead the crowd in “We Will Rock You” during every power play.