Statham’s diagnosis comes just days after performing his own stunts for a brutal fight scene on set, with sources confirming he initially dismissed early symptoms as “just another day of getting tossed through fake windows.” But when his signature gruff voice turned hoarse and he “actually needed a nap”—a rarity for the famously tireless actor—he knew something was off. “I’ve taken punches from Dwayne Johnson and swam with goddamn sharks,” Statham said, sipping what appeared to be a protein shake laced with honey and lemon. “But this little bastard got me good.”

The news sent shockwaves through Hollywood’s action-movie elite. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson commented, “Rest up, brother. But if you start turning green and smashing things, we’re calling Hulk protocols,” while Fast & Furious co-star Vin Diesel posted a throwback clip of their on-screen brawls with the caption “Even our rivalry takes a timeout for this.” Meanwhile, epidemiologists praised Statham for his transparency, noting his influence could boost vaccination rates among “tough guy” demographics.

Production on Coup de Grâce is paused for two weeks, though Statham assured fans he’s using the downtime “to plot the most insane comeback fight scene in history.” His final message to the virus? “You got one shot at me. Big mistake.” With Statham’s track record, COVID-19 might want to start running.