Another powerful factor is attachment style, which forms in early childhood. Insecure attachment — whether anxious or avoidant — can cause a child to struggle with trust and emotional closeness. A mother who was inconsistent, overly controlling, or emotionally unpredictable may unintentionally teach the child that closeness is unsafe. As a result, the child may suppress affection, minimize the mother’s importance, or act indifferent. Additionally, role reversal (parentification), where a child is forced to emotionally care for the mother, can lead to resentment and emotional burnout that later shows up as lack of appreciation.

A child may also devalue their mother due to unresolved anger or trauma. This can stem from harsh discipline, constant criticism, favoritism among siblings, or feeling compared to others. When a child doesn’t feel accepted for who they are, they may internalize shame and redirect it outward as rejection. Identity formation also plays a role — especially during adolescence and adulthood — where distancing from a parent becomes a way to assert independence. If the mother is perceived as limiting autonomy or invalidating choices, the child may emotionally detach to preserve their sense of self.

Finally, external influences and emotional modeling shape how a child views their mother. Witnessing a parent being disrespected by others, absorbing negative narratives from peers or partners, or growing up in a high-conflict household can normalize devaluation. Unmet emotional needs, lack of healthy communication, and unhealed generational patterns can all reinforce this dynamic over time. Importantly, a child not valuing their mother is rarely about a lack of love — it’s often a reflection of unmet emotional needs, misunderstood pain, and psychological defenses formed long before the child had the words to explain them. 🤔🤯