Late one quiet night, a drunk guy gets pulled over after swerving just enough to catch a patrol car’s attention on an otherwise empty road. The officer approaches the window and is immediately greeted by the unmistakable smell of alcohol. When asked how much he’s had to drink, the man smiles confidently and says, “Just a couple,” as if that explains everything. The officer asks him to step out of the car, and the man does so with exaggerated care, swaying slightly but insisting he’s perfectly steady. He even throws in a casual laugh, trying to brush the whole situation off as a misunderstanding.
The first sobriety test begins with a simple request: walk in a straight line. The man takes a few steps, veers to the side, nearly topples over, and then stops to point at the pavement. With absolute sincerity, he explains that the road must be crooked tonight.
The officer raises an eyebrow but says nothing, calmly moving on to the next test. This time, the man is asked to stand on one foot. He lifts his foot, wobbles dramatically, windmills his arms, and then drops it back down. Without missing a beat, he announces that he can’t do the test properly because he’s barefoot and his balance “depends on his shoes.”
At this point, the officer lets out a quiet sigh and decides to give him one final chance. “Alright,” he says, “last test. If you pass this one, I’ll let you go.” The drunk guy straightens up instantly, suddenly serious and focused, nodding with confidence. “Deal,” he says, clearly believing this is the moment he turns everything around. The officer explains the test: use the words green, pink, and yellow in one sentence. The man freezes, staring into the distance as if the answer is hidden somewhere in the night air.
