But every now and then one steps on the other’s toes and the rhythm is a bit unconventional. In my case, it wasn’t just a mistake; it was a complete collision, courtesy of my husband Jake and his newfound guru Steve.
What ensued was a whirlwind of absurd expectations, a “perfect wife” checklist, and a lesson in how far I would go to defend my dignity—and our marriage. Let me walk you through the chaos.

I have always prided myself on being the constant in our marriage. Jake, bless him, was easily drawn into new obsessions, whether it was a hobby or some YouTube video promising life-changing results in three easy steps.
We were fine until Jake met Steve.
Steve was the type of person who mistook a loud opinion for right and shot down anyone who tried to correct him.

Every single (big shocker), Steve had a habit of doling out unsolicited relationship advice to his married co-workers, including Jake. Jake, who usually had better sense, somehow fell under Steve’s spell. Steve’s confidence was clearly irresistible.
I brushed it off at first. But then Jake started parroting Steve’s opinions.

“Steve says relationships thrive when the wife runs the household,” Jake informed me one day. Another time: “Steve thinks women should always look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I rolled my eyes and would have fired a sarcastic retort, but it was getting on my nerves. Jake was changing. He would sigh dramatically if I let the laundry pile up because God forbid, I also had a full-time job. And I’m not even interested in his reaction when I bring home food instead of cooking.
The real kicker, however, came one evening when Jake walked in with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it over to me.